Quick Quotes Quill Tells All
by kuroaiko2014
Summary: Rita's faithful QQQ feels cheated when Rita starts taking a Self-Writing Quill on her interviews. How does our acid green friend take the pain of being replaced? Battlefield Wars Round 5 Colonel Position **Don't own HP**


_**For the Battlefield Wars Round 5.**_

 _ **Position: Colonel**_

 _ **Required Character: Rita Skeeter**_

 _ **Secondary Character: Quick Quotes Quill Personified**_

 _ **Plot: One of the characters discovers the other cheating on them.**_

 **Bold: QQQ speaking in the present**

Normal: Flashback from QQQ's POV

 _Italics: Rita speaking in the present_

 ** _Bold Italics: S-WQ speaking in the present_**

 _ **Word count: 1168**_

 _ **Quick Quotes Quill Tells All!**_

 **I know that you won't believe the words you are reading, but my dear, sweet, devoted readers, I am the Quick Quotes Quill, Lynara, used by the one and olny Rita Skeeter. She used me to embellish her stories and give them the extra spice that keeps you hooked. _Well_ , I am here to tell you a story of intrigue, mystery, and love lost.**

 **It all started a few months ago...**

I usually have the place of honor among Rita's journalism paraphernalia, but I was set to the wayside early March of this year. Now I know that it could have been one of many things that caused her to set me aside, most of which have nothing to do with the fact that I'm a Quill. She could have gotten a boyfriend ( _Merlin knows that woman needs to get laid_ ), or a pet ( _but not an owl. Owls bring back nasty-grams from not so enthusiastic readers that feel slighted after a particularly wonderful story gets printed_ ), but that wasn't the case. It was a new Quill. Not a Quick Quotes like myself, no, she wouldn't stoop so low as to get a Quill to compete with me on the same level. Oh, no, she had to go and get a blindingly, violently, vibrant **violet _Self-Writing Quill_**! Those Quills don't have souls like I do- Quick Quotes do!

That wannabe Quill took my place, and what's worse...Rita's writing started to suffer for it!

I was in the side pocket of Rita's handbag during an important interview and she pulled out Sparky, her new Self-Writing Quill and her notepad. Sparky doesn't know the first thing about creativity!

"Now tell me," Rita said, leaning in conspiratorially, "who do you think will end up marrying Harry Potter? That muggleborn Granger girl or the fiery Weasley girl?"

"Really, Skeeter? You're asking me which bint Potter is gonna make babies with?" The handsome blonde's face twisted into a sneer. "I only work with him. I don't have contact with him outside of the line of duty. Bugger off if you don't have any questions related to the latest case we solved." Draco Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy throne, traitor to his family for taking on a job in the Auror Department at the Ministry, and longtime work partner of Harry Potter.

The self-writing quill quietly scratched away while the two humans were speaking. Sparky's writing was small and spiky, with no flourishes to be seen. All mentions of Malfoy's affiliations blindingly absent from the parchment. Rita's little quirks and praises were missing as well.

 **See, that stupid Sparky doesn't catch the nuances of Mr. Malfoy's actions here! He's twitching in his seat, but that self absorbed Self-Writing ponce doesn't see that. It's too busy writing _only_ the dialogue with tag lines of who says what. What about the lines of poetry depicting Rita's pretty lavender blazer, or writing about Malfoy being too pointy and blonde for his own good? Sparky had _no_ respect for the written word. I would sigh if I had lungs to do so.**

"I didn't mean to belittle you, or the case you and Harry solved," Rita stated, eyes glittering behind her famed frames.

Malfoy snorted. "You mean like you do to Potter all the time? You use every opportunity to tear into him _and_ the Weasleys. Don't even get me started on Granger- it's like you have a vendetta. They aren't your personal toys to be thrown about. It you don't stop," Malfoy's voice went low, with a dangerous edge, "I'll show you just how bad it is to talk shit about my partner." Malfoy leaned back in his seat, arms crossed and a defiant gleam to his eyes.

Rita blinked and sat back as well, her Self-Writing Sparky not catching any of their movements. _I_ , however, caught Malfoy's tense glance through the grungy window. _I_ caught the flash of messy onyx hair and brilliant emerald eyes.

Sparky was _still_ just writing down the words spoken with dashes and names to denote whom spoke.

 **Now I know you all saw the 'article' that came from that poor excuse of an interview. The subsequent 'articles' were nothing short of depressing. No actions! No descriptors! How could you read those articles and think they were good? I mean, really, who thinks that those worthless writings are the true stories?**

 **Oooh, I have a _secret_ that Rita doesn't want anyone to know, and it would probably _devastate_ the Malfoy heir. Did you know that Rita had a thing for the one and only Be- ***the next few words were scratched out forcefully *****

 **Ahem. Sorry about that. Rita didn't appreciate that I was trying to spill her secrets. Oh dear. Umm. I think that she may be about to...NOOOOOOO! SCISSORS! aaaaaaaafff**

 _I do **so** apologize profusely for the blatant lies my dear Quick Quotes Quill, Lynara, was trying to tell. The poor dear had been with me since my Sixth Year at Hogwarts and **may** have taken something from my friendships that were not really there. I **was** friends with the late Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black. She was my best friend for fifteen years, but with the rise of the late Tom Riddle, a.k.a. Lord Voldemort, our friendship tapered off to nothing. There was nothing beyond our normal non-relationship status friendship. _

**Th-th-th-that is a _l-l-lie_. Sh-sh-she was in l-l-love with Be-be-bella-bellatrix. jjjjjjjff**

 _Well, that was just rude. Lynara, my faithful Quick Quotes Quill, has given up the ghost...quite literally. I now have a ghost Quill haunting me. How am I supposed to live with a Quill haunting me?_

 _I'm just going to head over to St Mungo's and possibly to find an exorcist to get rid of my dear departed Lynara. This is Rita Skeeter signing off!_

 ** _Ahh ah ah. This is Sparky, the Self-Writing Quill. Lynara the Quick Quotes Quill didn't understand me, and Rita doesn't know the first thing about being a journalist. I actually hopped into Rita's basket when she was trying to get a scoop on the Weasley twins' joke shop. I saw the drivel that acid green evil feather duster was writing. I couldn't stand for it. The readers... you...deserve to see the truth in the story, not the embellishments and total, blatant lies that Rita and Lynara came up with. I will neither confirm, nor deny, putting the idea into Rita's head about getting rid of Lynara...but hopefully you, the readers, approve of the change in regime either way. (I would laugh manically, paired with an outrageously evil face, if I could!) Sparky out! _**


End file.
